Naikan Therapy
3 questions to put things in perspective
This is a guest article tweaked by ‘Vita: A piece worth consideration from Tricycles Dharma
“Naikan is a Japanese word that means “looking inside,” though a more poetic translation might be “seeing oneself with the mind’s eye.” It is a structured method of self-reflection that helps us to understand ourselves, our relationships, and the fundamental nature of human existence.
Naikan was developed in Japan in the 1940s by Ishin Yoshimoto, a devout Buddhist of the Pure Land sect (Jodo Shinshu). His strong religious spirit led him to practice mishirabe, an arduous method of meditation and self-reflection. Wishing to make such introspection available to others, he developed Naikan as a method that could be more widely practiced.”
Naikans profound impact resulted in its use in other areas of Japanese society. Today, there are about 30 Naikan centers in Japan, and Naikan is used in mental health counseling, addiction treatment, rehabilitation of prisoners, schools, and business.
It has also taken root in Europe, with a dozen Naikan centers now established in Austria, Germany, and Switzerland. Naikan programs and retreats have been offered regularly in the United States since 1989 . with the exception of a small number of adventurous Westerners who have studied Naikan in Japan, or who have attended programs in North America and Europe, few Westerners have experienced and explored this Japanese practice of self-reflection.
‘Naikan broadens our view of reality. It’s as if, standing on top of a mountain, we shift from a zoom lens to a wide-angle lens. Now we can appreciate the broader panorama; our former perspective is still included, but it is now accompanied by much that had been hidden. And what was hidden makes the view extraordinary.”
The Three Questions
Naikan reflection is based on three questions:
What have I received from ____?
What have I given to ____?
What troubles and difficulties have I caused ____?
‘These questions provide a foundation for reflecting on all relationships, including those with parents, friends, teachers, siblings, work associates, children, and partners. You can reflect on yourself in relation to pets, or even objects such as cars and pianos. You can reflect on a specific period of time, one day or a holiday visit to your family. In each case, you acquire a more realistic view of your conduct and the give-and-take that has occurred in the relationship.”
DEPTH AND SELF REFLECTION
The questions themselves are very clear and precise. ‘The depth of experience, insight, and realization that may well come from the practice of self-reflection is not a result of intellectual analysis or complex theories. Our challenge is to just see reality as it is. These questions are simple inquiries for our investigation of life’s mysteries and miracles.”
1. What have I received from ____?
GIVING AND RECEIVING
To examine OUR relationship with another, begin by looking at what ONE has received from that person. Examine the, clear descriptions of reality. Examine the intention attitude or motivation of what was offered. The gifts others offer does not change the fact that we benefit from kind gestures and kindness. Often, we take such things for granted. We hurry through our day giving little attention to all the “little” things we are receiving.
They may appear as small, while we are being supported, our attention is often times elsewhere. Yet when there is no hot water for a shower or we lose our glasses, these little things grab our attention. Suddenly we are conscious of the true value of hot water and clear vision. As an aside C.S Lewis wrote a letter to some one every day of his life until the day he died. As I have mentioned he died the same day as JFK in November 1963
As you one lists what one has received from another person, one become grounded in the simple reality of how we have been supported and cared for. In many cases one may be surprised at the length or importance of the items on ones list, and a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation may be naturally stimulated.
CONSCIOUS GIFTS AND CONSCIOUS SHIFT WITH GRACE
Ones “heart and mind begin to open to the grace that underlies all our life’s. Without a conscious shift of attention to the myriad ways in which the world supports us, we risk our attention being trapped by problems and obstacles, leaving us to linger in suffering and self-denial”
Consider making a list of what one has received during the past 24 hours in detail. This type of daily reflection is called daily Naikan (nichijo naikan). We are not limited to examining our relationship to one person but can include anyone who supported one during the past day. Be specific and write down as many items as one can remember.
What kind of food did you eat? Where did you go this past day? How did others support you? Did someone open a door? Did someone wash your dishes, or was there hot water and soap available to you for washing dishes? What made it possible for you to brush your teeth or drive a car? Take ten minutes and make as thorough a list as possible.
2. What have I given to ____? Ishin Yoshimoto was a businessman. Each month he would send statements to his customers and receive similar statements from suppliers. These statements specified the products that were sent and the amount of money received. We receive a similar statement from the bank regarding our checking account. This tells us to the penny the balance in our account.
Yoshimoto believed it was useful for human beings to conduct a similar examination or “life reconciliation.” When one has examined, in detail, what one has given and received, we can determine the balance. We can compare giving and receiving in relation to a single person or between One and the rest of the world. Look at the big picture can examine a period of time ranging from a day to a decade.
This process is both a practical and spiritual reconciliation of our relationships with others. What can one offer the world? It could be said when people support us, we often take their efforts for granted, consider what one one offers and what is offered . As we reflect on our life, we begin to see the reality of our life.
What is worth consideration is whether one is operating from transactional relationship (patriarchal framework) or or in a considered mutual benefit relationship that is genuine in its intention for one another. This useful realization offers us a natural desire to give and serve others and instills in one a greater sense of gratitude and realistic humility.
Consider making a list of what one has given to others during the past 24 hours. Perhaps one gave someone a ride offered a hug, or prepared a meal. Perhaps one sent a birthday card to a friend or picked up some litter on the street. Once again, be concrete and specific.
One now has a preliminary picture of ones life for the past 24 hours. Being consistent and genuine matters.. “Offering a smile or thank-you to someone, matters “. Consider the acts of kindness all the smiles and thank-yous one has received from others!
“Be as accurate as possible!” Cooking someone a meal, note what one has received (for example, groceries, utensils, an oven, a recipe book) in order to do that? Take a few minutes and modify the lists, if necessary, so they more accurately reflect the reality of this past day.’
The third and final question is the most difficult of all: What troubles or difficulties has one possibly created for the other_____
On occasions we are aware of how other people may unconsciously cause us inconvenience or difficulty. “Perhaps somebody cuts us off in traffic, or maybe the person in front of us at the post office has a lot of packages and we are kept waiting. We notice such incidents with great proficiency”. Consider if one is the source of the trouble or inconvenience, or is in our own heads.. Consider whether one has spoken up to let the other know to allow truth to be shared and allow understanding to occur..
“Yoshimoto suggested that when we reflect on our-selves, we should spend at least 60 percent of the time considering how we may have caused others pain or stress . His words are echoed by the lives of Franklin, Schweitzer, and St. Augustine. If we are not willing to see and accept those events in which we have been the source of others’ suffering, then we cannot truly know ourselves or the grace by which we live.”
Consider whether one has created difficulties that affect others in the past 24 hours. Best practice is not to criticize doubt or gossip about others . Best Practice is to be kind and mindful to ones self and the other.
Reflecting on Reflections
This is an opportunity to examine a small slice of ones affect on the others life (one day) in an attempt to see reality as clearly as possible. Review your lists carefully. What are you aware of that you weren’t aware of before? What does one take for granted? What does one need to do and what one do differently? This type of daily reflection, or daily Naikan, can be done before bedtime in 20 to 30 minutes. It is the simplest method of Naikan reflection.
We think we know our own life, but what we know is only an edited version, colored by our emotions and narrow vision. How close can we come to the original draft? By staring at truth, the soil is warmed, and we begin digging toward the sky.
Don’t ask what others project or reflect on one ask how one projects and reflects to the other
be grateful be humble be kind be loving that is our best reflection we can offer
Vita XX